Time Marches On

(I wrote this four days after Tax Day this year, but had it set as a draft . I've decided to go ahead and post it today, even though it's been about seven months. I'll do an addendum later. The story did not have a happy ending)


Being in my seventh decade on this planet, I've seen quite a few folks---many of them relatives, loved ones and very close friends---swoop the scene (as Lord Buckley would put it) and exit the planet before me. The longer I live, the more this will happen. Well, until it's my turn to leave. Then, those that remain will be ruminating on my leaving....maybe.

A great line from one of George Carlin's books, found in a "top 100" list, was the thought that "there are people on this Earth who really don't like you." A hard pill for ego-driven people (who would that exclude?) to choke down, but one that I have found myself able to swallow. I happen to like me, and that's enough for me at this point. That might sound like I'm lonely, or alone, which I'm not. Truth be told, I have more than just a handful of loved ones and close friends; more than I can count using all my fingers. Maybe no toes are needed. I haven't sat down to really tally it all up, but off the top of my head that's what I come up with. I have to guess that more than a few will cogitate on my passing, when I leave them. It doesn't matter much.

Recently, I was out in the sun where I can see a lot better, even without my reading specs. I was sitting in a quiet setting, drinking some tea and just 'grooving', as we aged flower-children used to say. Anyhow, I had a very vivid flashback, of a time in my very early youth---perhaps single-digit age---where I was looking at my Grandma's hand and noticing that her skin was not like mine. It was more translucent, and waxy looking. The veins in her hand had also migrated to just under the skin, unlike my youthful flesh. The image was pretty vivid in my recollection, and when I sat the other day---looking at my own hands in the bright sunlight---I noticed that they now resemble those of 'Gramma'. What an odd awakening.

So, I guess it should come as no surprise that I just heard that a dear friend, who is only one year my junior, was just diagnosed with lymph cancer that has apparently traveled to his brain. The outlook is grim. Doctors, of course, will be more than happy to do all the ugly stuff that we all know they do in these cases, but they offer a slim chance of my friend surviving even a handful of years. If I'm still in shock, how must he feel?

"Nobody gets out alive" becomes more and more true for me, as the months pass. In just the last year, I have said goodbye to a number of close friends; most of them either musical co-conspirators, or confidantes. This ain't getting any easier.

Not exactly in a funk, but pretty reflective at the moment.

I've gotten the following in an email before, and at the time thought that it made a lot of sense. Maybe I've gotten older by just the right amount for it to strike home, but today it seemed worth repeating. Actually, no matter what one's age, I think it applies to most everyone I know.


Will You Dance With Me?

READ THIS VERY SLOWLY.... IT'S PRETTY PROFOUND.

Too many people put off something that brings them joy just because they haven't thought about it, don't have it on their schedule, didn't know it was coming or are too rigid to depart from their routine.

I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night in an effort to cut back. From then on, I've tried to be a little more flexible.

How many women out there will eat at home because their husband didn't suggest going out to dinner until after something had been thawed? Does the word 'refrigeration' mean nothing to you?

How often have your kids dropped in to talk and sat in silence while you watched 'Jeopardy' on television?

I cannot count the times I called my sister and said, 'How about going to lunch in a half hour?' She would gas up and stammer, 'I can't. I have c clothes on the line. My hair is dirty. I wish I had known yesterday, I had a late breakfast, It looks like rain.' And my personal favorite: 'It's Monday.' She died a few years ago. We never did have lunch together.

Because Americans cram so much into their lives, we tend to schedule our headaches. We live on a sparse diet of promises we make to ourselves when all the conditions are perfect !

We'll go back and visit the grandparents when we get Steve toilet-trained. We'll entertain when we replace the living-room carpet... We'll go on a second honeymoon when we get two more kids out of college.

Life has a way of accelerating as we get older. The days get shorter, and the list of promises to ourselves gets longer. One morning, we awaken, and all we have to show for our lives is a litany of 'I'm going to,' 'I plan on,' and 'Someday, when things are settled down a bit.'

When anyone calls my 'seize the moment' friend, she is open to adventure and available for trips. She keeps an open mind on new ideas. Her enthusiasm for life is contagious. You talk with her for five minutes, and you're ready to trade your bad feet for a pair of Roller blades and skip an elevator for a bungee cord..

My lips have not touched ice cream in 10 years. I love ice cream. It's just that I might as well apply it directly to my stomach with a spatula and eliminate the digestive process The other day, I stopped the car and bought a triple-Decker. If my car had hit an iceberg on the way home , I would have died happy.

Now...go on and have a nice day. Do something you WANT to.....not something on your SHOULD DO list. If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?

Make sure you read this to the end; you will understand and why I sent this to you.

Have you ever watched kids playing on a merry go round or listened to the rain lapping on the ground? Ever followed a butter fly's erratic flight or gazed at the sun into the fading night? Do you run through each day on the fly? When you ask ' How are you?' Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done, do you lie in your bed with the next hundred chores running through your head? Ever told your child, 'We'll do it tomorrow.' And in your haste, not see his sorrow? Ever lost touch? Let a good friendship die? Just call to say 'Hi?

When you worry and hurry through your day, it is like an unopened gift....Thrown away..... Life is not a race. Take it slower. Hear the music before the song is over.

It's National Friendship Week.. Show your friends how much you care. Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND. If it comes back to you, then you'll know you have a circle of friends...

To those I have sent this to... I cherish our friendship and appreciate all you do.

Life may not be the party we hoped for... But while we are here we might as well dance.